I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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