She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
