How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
