Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
