I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
