is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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