Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So much rum. So many feels.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
