I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
