so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
