I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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