so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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