please come you make the beer taste better
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You took a bar mat shot.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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