I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The best revenge is premature balding
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
