i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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