my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
