and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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