if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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