Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
