Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
