I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
