So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
