And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
