grandma shit on top of the toilet
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
