pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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