Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
