I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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