Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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