Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
