I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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