Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
