Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
