The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This beer is not sobering me up at all
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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