I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
