i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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