I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
