So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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