mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just invented taco cereal.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
