reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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