How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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