I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My vagina just recognized that song.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
