everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
