dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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