Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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