I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
