And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
