DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
