I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
