There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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