That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
