Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
His nipple licking is glorious
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